Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
