did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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