go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
