okay pat passed out under dana's car
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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