too bad you live with your parents still
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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