she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
