Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
