Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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