my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Randomize
