So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Found the puke drawer
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
