I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
It's not a walk of shame if you run
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
