meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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