oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize