just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Less talking, more tequila
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Randomize
