So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
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