if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize
