I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
