Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
