i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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