How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
