Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize