We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
