I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
