Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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