I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Randomize
