If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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