How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
