i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
