We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
