I cockslap morals
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
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