Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
