What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
