He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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