haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
