Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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