Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Randomize
