I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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