i don't plan on having that self control this summer
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
