So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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