If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
