Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
