But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Just cropdusted the office
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Randomize
