Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
She bit a glass in half.
How external is "for external use only"?
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
