dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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