Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
