i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Randomize
