Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
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