we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
