We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
