Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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