not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
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