We won't sleep together?
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
