Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
