just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
