I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
