So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
