Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
