My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
