in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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