put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
